that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
