this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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