yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
