My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
