I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
