he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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