i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
