Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
