come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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