When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
