We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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