Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
