he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
