remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
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