come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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