my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize