i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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