Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
