Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
