Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
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I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
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Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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