ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
