I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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