but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
