He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
