what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm passing your future prison.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.