when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!