WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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