It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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