non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
