I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize