so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
