Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
