He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
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I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
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Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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