I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
