so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
