Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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