Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
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Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
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Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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