FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
