We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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