I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
