i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
