She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
