I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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