..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
