im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
