Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
