Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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