i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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