she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
