Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
