another moral hangover. fuck.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
is wine microwaveable?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
