wanna go halves on a baby?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
