What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
