I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
