I looked at my own cervix.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
The ass gains better be worth it
His nipple licking is glorious
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
