The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
