i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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