idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
