I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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