My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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