she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
