matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
