you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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